From Victim to Victor: Interview With Kristen Brown, Relationship Healing and Self-Worth Recovery Mentor

When Kristen Brown told me she had a book coming out called The Recovering People Pleaser: A Spiritual Guide to Reclaim Your True Worth and Attract the Love You Deserve, I jumped at the opportunity to invite her on my podcast.

Kristen is a Relationship Healing and Self-Worth Recovery Mentor, and she helps people in dysfunctional, often abusive, relationships reclaim their self-worth.

Kristen has led a life with a strong desire to help others.

In 2009, after finding herself attracting and marrying, as she says, "yet another toxic person, another dysfunctional relationship, where I was not treated equally," her life was swept away like in a big tsunami. (She calls that area of her life her "tsunami.")

She went from having an excellent credit score and never missing a bill to being on the verge of homelessness with three children in tow.

She vowed at that point to remain single and celibate for as long as it took to not have this pattern repeat.

Kristen's ex-husband was a physically abusive, adulterous narcissist with alcohol dependency. And, as narcissists tend to do, he threw out the line in an argument "you are the common denominator" just to be hurtful. (Meaning, if all of her relationships went to hell, she was obviously the problem."

Then, she had an epiphany...

"I am the common denominator."

This began her journey of self-worth recovery.

It's amazing how fast you can take charge of your own life when you shift from being a victim to realizing you are in the driver's seat of your experience.

(I related a lot to this story, as I had that same epiphany when my ex-boyfriend abandoned me at the airport in 2018. I was also the common denominator, and noticed that my reality was my creation.)

In this interview, we cover so much.

Why people pleasing? Because people pleasing is a behavior that is the result of shame and unworthiness; Kristen calls shame and unworthiness "the plague on the planet."

One of the ways shame and unworthiness translates in a human is "people pleasing," "doormat," and "codependency."

Kristen calls her work "relationship healing and self-worth recovery” because we heal our relationships through our self-worth recovery.

Her new book is designed as a spiritual guide to help those struggling with people-pleasing tendencies reclaim their power in their human experience, and thereby, attract the love they deserve.

You can find Kristen on her website at kristenbrown.org

Kristen’s second book, The Recovering People Pleaser – A Spiritual Guide to Reclaim Your True Worth and Attract the Love You Deserve is due to be released in November 2022. You can find it on all major online retailers.

Go to kristenbrown.org to sign up for updates on the book’s release.