On Waking Up: A Discussion About Mental Health, Slowing Down, and Valuing Yourself with Russell Barlow
In August of 2018, Russell Barlow went on vacation with friends for the sixth year in a row. He found himself drinking to blackout for most of it, in the throes of a deep depression.
At one point, he even thought “I don’t need to be here anymore.” That was the only time he ever had that thought, which was not about the vacation he was not enjoying. It scared the shit out of him.
Following that trip, Russell was diagnosed with Bipolar 2, or as he calls it, “Bipolar Lite.”
He was put on medication.
What followed was a several-year process of waking up. Working in a toxic environment at the time, he began to value his personal well-being in ways he hadn’t before. He left.
That was just the first step to a constant process of evolution and change.
In this episode of the Get the F*ck Off Podcast, we talk very intimately about Bipolar 2, mental health, and the stigma associated with it.
We talk about the pandemic, and the necessary pause that allowed for a respite in the American obsession with constant motion; a pause that allowed for some to experience a much-needed break from the assault of grueling jobs where they were undervalued.
We also talk about the importance of well-being.
Russell and I both worked in the hospitality industry for a large portion of our lives, which we use as a lens to examine the importance of work-life balance.
We also discuss the nationwide restaurant employee shortage and the dated mindset of the industry that imperatively needs to change its value system to become more person-centered.
Episode Notes:
3:37
Russell talks about the vacation he went on with friends he’s known for 20 years when he discovered something was not quite right.
9:01
The diagnosis: When he found out he had Bipolar 2, Russell felt immense relief. Beforehand, he had been reading non-stop. He talks about his visit to The Strand, a famous book store in New York City, and seeking much-needed explanations.
He was recommended the book An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir on Moods and Madness by Kay Redfield Jamison.
13:00
Rapid Cycling: Russell explains rapid cycling, what that means, and what it feels like to experience this as a person with Bipolar 2.
14:00
After starting medication, people in his life began to notice the changes in his demeanor. He took that as evidence that the medication was working, and he says that was his first step to 1. stepping out of the toxic work environment he’d been in for many years and 2. the shift in his thinking because as he says, he was experiencing clarity he did not have previously.
15:30
We discuss drinking to medicate and hypomania, which is associated with Bipolar 2.
16:00
We discuss how a person can know if they are self-medicating. Russell recommends the book Less Than Crazy: Living Fully with Bipolar 2 by Karla Dougherty
20:35
The stigma of mental health is a serious problem, and Russell expresses being thankful for the fact that it’s becoming more readily discussed.
We recorded this podcast during mental health awareness month, so there was a lot of discussion about it at the time, which was great.
22:23
Unlike many people during the pandemic, Russell found the pause to be extremely useful for his mental health. Unlike life within the constant motion and assault of the grueling hospitality motor, he was able to slow down, connect, and reflect.
He began taking care of yet more aspects of his well-being that he had been neglecting
30:00
Russell went back to work for a brief time during the pandemic and opened a restaurant. The opening was long hours with unappreciative guests. One day on his way back to the city just following the opening, he was waiting for the train when he got the call that he would be laid off for the second time.
He made the realization that he was completely replaceable and shifted his priorities to things that were more self-serving.
With his parents getting older, and New York feeling less like home, he began taking micro-steps to make the move to Austin, TX.
36:20
The Hospitality Industry employee shortage is a problem in America.
Noting that the common theme amongst people in the industry is “I value myself too much to do this anymore,” that is a huge indicator that something needs to change.
41:30
Russell discusses his experiences applying for hospitality jobs in Austin, and the problems/red flags he experienced at the outset which are often far too common.
53:20
We discuss the nationwide restaurant employee shortage, and how while people do want to blame it on enhanced unemployment, there are a magnitude of other contributing factors.
We discuss the basic needs of a human being that often go neglected in the food, beverage, and hospitality industry, two of which are proper nutrition and sleep.
58:00
Russell gives his advice for people feeling undervalued and/or stuck
We finish the episode looping back to mental health, and the importance of finding someone to talk to.
Russell ends the episode by citing an article he read on CNN about author Kevin Curry, who wrote Fit Men Cook.
He notes a quote from this article which says:
“Well, if you had the common cold, wouldn't you take some cold medicine? If you had the flu wouldn't you go down to CVS and take something?' …'Sometimes people just need a little bit more help. And there's nothing wrong with you.”
You can find Russell on Instagram @russellbarlow2
