"Advice" From a Human Who Has Done It
Happy New Year! 🎆
For a zillion and five years, I had the same New Year's Resolutions. "Drink less. Lose weight. Quit smoking."
And... well
That eventually happened.
(Not on January 1st... But it did begin in January 2018)
(I don't love showing this photo year after year but I do so so you know I'm not some sort of preachy phony who hasn't walked the walk.)
New Years brings up a lot of "health" desires for people. I get it because I was one of those people.
I think it's worthwhile to note one thing: what is true for you today won't be true for you always.
And, while your drinking, your weight, and your smoking is in fact a symptom, and not a problem, we do need to go through a level of informational consumption to address that symptom.
For example, if binge eating is your symptom, deeper work is needed to address that. BUT. You will benefit from a meeting with an RD to learn about nutrition, science, and increasing your inputs so your body can learn to crave, process, and digest new foods.
If alcohol is the issue, you will still need to consume some information contradictory to the information you already "know" to get beyond the egoic nature of "this is positive and pleasurable."
When you go through the "informational" consumption, you'll find a lot of conflicting, paradoxical information.
All of it is true. All of it is valid.
Absolute "truth" does not exist.
What is true for you today won't be true in a year's time, so follow the path of what works in this moment.
Two years ago, I swore up and down that no human over the age of 30 should ever consume enriched wheat flour.
Is enriched wheat flour inflammatory to your gut? 100%
Do I eat it? 100%
Would I have eaten it three years ago? Absolutely not.
Things change. We do something for a while, and it works. Then maybe it stops working, so we do something else.
Ultimately, if your health isn't where you'd like it to be, I always, 100% recommend that today not be the day you try to do anything about it.
Faux "motivation" of January 1st is not a big enough "why" to make anything sustainable or maintainable, and usually ends up de-motivating humans.
Instead, while you're finishing up the last of your cookies and chocolate (because I certainly still am) - a good "thing to do" is to think of your larger-than-life "why."
We are trained to think of "how" and "what," but rarely do we start with why we do things.
Another thing, possibly even more importantly, is that your why should be one based in self-love, not self-hate.
Self-hate is not motivational.
Neither are "negative consequences."
This is why diseased lungs on cigarette packs do not make people stop smoking. You will not allow that information to bypass the critical faculty of your unconscious mind.
The unconscious mind does not understand future-tense and doesn't care about tangible rewards.
Only the highest version of you, one rooted in immense, tremendous self-love can motivate a person to push through the barrier of the known self.
As I wrote in my women's coaching community, Day 1., this week:
There's really nothing scary about looking inward. It's more about telling the ego to go fuck itself so you can give your higher self a hug.
Transformation is paradoxical. Both pieces are necessary. Ego -> go fuck yourself, Higher self -> hug.
I wish you all the best in 2023.
Even though it is cliche and ridiculous that Jan 1 is a day of "new beginnings," it also is equally as un-cliche and not ridiculous.
If it's true for you today, then that is the truth.
So shine that bright light.
And stay beautiful!!
